Denial

I’m suppose to sleep, need to wake up at 4am later which is approximately another 4 hours more to go. I’m an owl, I only hunt when it’s midnight. wtf

Let me tell u a story, a story that I felt so tired of.

Things had been going wild lately, a friend of mine decided to get angry with me just because I hung up on her phone. She called me rude for that, but all i did was just that I didn’t say goodbye. Besides, throughout the entire conversation going on, she was in utter denial. I really couldn’t bring myself into continuing it. I’m afraid I would end up not just hung up on her but cursing her as well. I don’t usually burst into anger but once I do. It doesn’t look sweet.

As u see, this is seriously a very teeny tiny issue. No point being utterly emotional because of it. I tried to let it fade off like how i usually did but she just decided to hold on to the moment. The moment where it doesn’t even have to hold on to but to let it go because I myself already brush it off like an ADULT. Then it was when situation turn ugly, she was throwing blame into other people but herself. She was living in denial. People that know her was being called vagina face, or eat poo or whatever by her.

Now you understand? It was seriously a very small matter, not point putting a huge fuss over it. We’re friends, I could brush it off IF you don’t play it this big. Excuse me, I’m an adult myself. I don’t think what you did was worth my forgiveness, I did attempt to take it has nothing ever happen and talk back to you BUT you decided to throw me pebbles again.

First she decided to play hide and seek with me at MSN, which I didn’t know at first but one of our mutual close friend told me that’s when I know. I brush it off, just taking it that she was naive and childish. What she did was only primary kids would do. Then she decided not to play hide and seek at MSN, but play Now You See Me Now You Don’t at Facebook, I stil did the same, ignore it like a mature adult would do.

It turns worst when the bag I lent it to her, and she refer the owner of the bag as someone else. For god’s sake, we use to be very close with each other and because of such small matter, she’s refering me by someone else in front of my friends. That doesn’t seems like respect to me, and since u’re lend my things your suppose to give me back to me face to face and say thank you. Nope, you have your wrong guess. She didn’t give it back to me personally and when my friend ask her to give me back personally she said she doesn’t want to see me. What I have a vagina face right now is it? and when I drove my friend to her place to get my bag back, she walk right out pass it to my friend, didn’t say thank you, didn’t show a single smile and the face was as dark as storming cloud. EXCUSE ME, where is your manners? I thought during kindergarden our teacher teach us to say thank you if people help you out. I’m not yearning for that word, but I just think ur being impolite and rude. She didn’t say a single word and walk right back in. I was stunned. How a small matter could ruin a friendship.

Then, she decided to play what primary student would play. The write big big but No ball to show it. She wrote something like very obviously refering to me and my friends about wasting our parents money. I was really angry reading it because first, she herself was jobless for a few months being at home and using her parents money as well and her last comment really pour kerosene to me was saying we have no guts to comment on her status. I was like FUCK YOU! you play Now You See Me Now You Don’t at Facebook with me, do you think I could comment on it. I don’t even know if weren’t for friends telling me what they saw. After reading I felt like she was slapping back at her face through writing it. It was as if she didn’t use her brain wisely before writing it. I just laugh it off like an adult would do.

I was being very forgiving because though she didn’t say thank you to me, I still sms her a message saying thanks for giving my bag back, even though it should be her writing it. She did reply me with one sentence, u r welcome. I was like FUCK. It felt more like i owned her something that she is to me. Then, when i thought situation has calm down, she decided to go chirp at some random sites saying very obviously saying me also. She referred that I’m being FAKE, and talk behind people’s back and something like karma would find me back. Nope, i didn’t stalk her, my friends decided to call me in the middle of the night to tell me about it. Yes, my friends all damn sweet. wtf. At first I thought I would be very mad, angry and yelling my lungs out but it turns out I didn’t. I just ignore her, I just take it that she was throwing pebbles again and again but to me right now It felt more like eating popcorn from each pebbles she throws. I mean, what’s the point if i really go and play immature with her, by writing status and personal message that very obviously meant that it was her. It would not make situation turn better just make it turn worst.

If she wanted to keep it going, just let her have the fun herself. I don’t meant to be mean, we could all see who’s being right and wrong here. If i was seriously being fake, the friends that we both mutually have would side her but nope they didn’t. I’m not saying that I have some seriously backup behind of me. It’s just that people know what’s right and wrong. If i’m being wrong, nobody would even want to find me. When the incident happen, they still wanted to mend it because we were friends, but you’re making it tough for them. It was as if they were begging you for forgiveness, then they gave up on you. You let your friendship slip away through your grip just because of ur denial.

The whole gossip issue, I told straight to my friend that I did do that and I feel bad about it but right now I won’t. If i want to gossip, I’ll just shoot you directly. I think through this incident, it make me felt more mature and better in handling friends. Right now, any discomfort is tell directly, previously we only tell this one person and then it turns into backstab. I told my friends no backstabbing anymore, let’s just to this way our adult way.

I could act like you into writing more mean and honest journal but I decided not to because if i were to go into more detail. It would seems that you were just an annoying bitch. I let u live in denial but I ain’t letting you back into my tracks.

I’m sorry but you’ve missed my station, the next time i see you in other station. I’ll just act as an adult and say Hi! and then Bye! That’s the best I could do as you’ve gone too far this time.

🙂

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About Ivy

Super contemplation of losing those extra fats
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11 Responses to Denial

  1. Puffin says:

    GENG.. UR ARE AN ADULT NOW!!!!! SO DO I..!!

  2. Ivy says:

    Hahaha.. because too many ‘yuin hei’ ade. So must ‘fat sit’ abit XD

  3. Callahan says:

    Now You See Me Now You Don’t

    i like this phrase

  4. passerby says:

    i feel u have a very good English knowledge, regret I’m dumb in English.
    As a passerby, I feel u are a strong self-righteous, your words are so poisoning.
    If u feel ‘teeny tiny issue’ why are u writing so long to describe her?
    You look more childish than the person you described.
    If you treat a friend sincerely even you are in anger
    before you take any action you will think twice.
    If u are a good friend I will not say ‘thanks’ to you because I thanks in action
    If you are forgiving person you will not write here.
    If you treat it maturely I believe you will think before you write all these.
    A true friend will never support you doing all these childish things,
    but will trying to tell you what you shouldn’t do
    Before you want a people to think of your feeling,
    why don’t you think before you require to?

  5. callahan says:

    this is her blog and it is her wish on what to write but u have an option to choose.. not to read!
    ivy do treat this friend sincerely enough until get hurt like this. if u said, ivy should think twice before doing anything, but do u have any idea, what ivy had gone through before this ? all those post that she posted to hurt ivy ? who act immature now ? who act childish now?
    no doubt. everyone wil have their boiling point and limit. ivy just cant take it anymore and decided to express it and write it here! her blog! her own blog! which barely anyone know the existense.
    she decided to write this thing off after all those nonsense and shit thing going on at FB!
    anywhere.. it is a CLOESED and END case…

  6. Puffin says:

    to passerby

    I was wondering what is “teeny tiny issue” to you? since hanging up people’s call doesn’t count as “teeny tiny issue”?
    ivy choose to hang up so that she wont release her anger on that person. so she just hang up. Is this still doesn’t count as THINK TWICE? what if she did not hang up but saying those rude word or even scold her? is this will be better then hanging up her phone? I hope u will also think twice when u trying leave comment here.

  7. Puffin says:

    oh ya. 1 more. please just state your name here next time since everyone knows who r u ><

  8. Puffin says:

    dun use passerby already ><

  9. Puffin says:

    dun use passerby already. its looks immature too
    and hor.. dun act like an “idiot” (like the person said) posting nonsense on facebook. its doesn’t act mature at all ><

  10. kyan says:

    1276 words for this story of yours… Rather an interesting story. Forgive me if my comment sounds rude to you, but as a concerned reader, I think it’d be nice to look from another POV. It’s your right to post whatever you want in your blog. But since this blog is available for public view, and the comment option is not disabled, I believe this means you give rights to readers to comment as well. I chose to comment not because of any mean intention, but I feel concerned.

    Look, I know I’m not in the best position to comment as I don’t know the whole story. I believe, if you’re a mature adult, you’d be thinking twice about your reader’s comment. Hanging up a phone call is, by all means, rude. Nobody likes being hung up by anyone, much less a close friend. ‘All I did was just…’ – This sentence is really hurtful. You might be doing so because you refrained from lashing out at your friend, but this isn’t something an adult will do. An adult will say ‘Thanks for your time. I believe this is all I want to say. Goodbye’ and hang up.

    If you have done that, maybe she won’t act childishly. This is a choice you made. Even if she’s still being a brat, it’s not your business. Let her be. Adults have many ways to handle people and distance self is just another method. From what I read, the way she handled this case was immature as you said. You might be blogging as letting your frustration out, but isn’t this entry a huge fuss about what happened? Maybe in 10 years time, when you read back this entry, you might feel you were being immature by ranting out everything.

    I can sense your anger and frustration in this entry. If you’re a forgiving adult as you claim to be, then let it be. She made a fuss, you shouldn’t have done the same even if she started it. And now, an adult won’t say ‘who is right who is wrong’ nor pointing fingers. Friends who side with you, don’t mean they really mean it. How many people dare to step in front and tell you what are their real thoughts? How many are sincere enough to tell you what you don’t like to hear?

    It’s a simple matter really, as you said. Just let go of such people and there is no need to say anything else when your mutual friends ask. Simply say it’s time to let go and move on. There is no need to find acknowledgment nor backup. If you truly believe what you’ve done is mature and right, you don’t need anyone’s judgment.

    Denial. Those who are in denial will never realise it themselves. Getting defensive is another display of denial. Please don’t fall into the trap.

    An adult will accept constructive criticism without fear/anger. If you’re feeling annoyed that a nobody comments on your blog entry, by all means, delete my comment. It’s your choice how you should act. Wish you all the best in life.

  11. Soo says:

    puffin is a girl? wow so rude! agree with Mr.Kyan…
    oh yeah! why the writer never comment anything?
    Is she feel guilty? or no guts? cool blog!
    sorry if any hard feeling, just pass by to visit your blog 🙂
    passerby, you should put ur real name! not good!

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