How had you been lately? it has been a year since you left.
Now our house felt so empty, nobody’s there to always watch tv, laughing that echoes and to praise Ma when she cooks nice food.
How is Grandmother and you been going on? enjoying mahjong?
alot of things had change when you left us for this whole year. Relationship between third uncle seems to had fallen apart, but i could see that they are trying to patch things back. i think it just take the matter of times, sometimes some misunderstand could really results on unnecessary argument.
Now, we didn’t went out for dinner as a big family as often as we use to be when you were around. now the only occasion when all of us could really meet up is only when it was small aunt’s birthday, some certain occasion but it only comes once in a blue moon. i could even calculate with one hand. even during your death anniversary it wasn’t as merrier as it should had been.
now nobody nags me if i wallop up too many food, nobody ask me where am i going, nobody ask me what time i’m coming back. even though ma and pa still ask, but it just felt different. i think if it was u who ask, i think i may start to be a good girl and always comes back home before 12am.
i still remember i cried too much on the death you left us, i nearly dried my tears. it was just too sudden, all in a sudden it was as if you and us as a barrier already. we couldn’t see how are u going on in there, but i think you could always take a peep on how are we doing here.
things that i promise you never ever had the chance to succeed, the dimsum session that should had happen, the dessert that should had been bought, the show that should had been watch. i’m still blame myself sometimes for flagging you off when your second stroke happen, i didn’t know what i did could result in losing you. i thought you were just having sore throat but it has proven me wrong.
After losing you because of my careless and unsensitive, i’ve started to being more aware of my surrounding and more sensitive too. somehow i felt, no matter what i do i still missed out what i should had done with you together.
Gong gong, i miss you alot. I miss having someone to tell me which channel to watch, to get tissues for and even to buy something for. i promise you, i’ll stay away from the lydia sum style and go back to some other style that i know you will like. i love you 🙂