I regretted damn lots of things
- getting super sucks SPM result
- not controlling my diet, till now it’s uncontrollable
- making my mommy and daddy’s heart painful
- spending like i’m a princess of Monaco
- wasting my mommy and daddy’s money just to get me to Glasgow
- wasting my time not going back to study
- loving the wrong person
- giving away my most favourite blue doggie
- being a sucker
- being a super nice girl
- etc, there’s loads more…but i just don’t want the list to go damn long.
Reflection on #1
even though it has been 2 years past already, i still think back about my fucking retarded SPM result. I got 2A, 2B, 2C and 4D. I know it’s already consider okay, at a point that at least i didn’t fail a shit. Damn. But you know what?! Actually i know i could do better than this. I could get back an excellent result like how i got it during PMR, which is a freaking 7A full ace. I didn’t really study that hard during PMR, i was thinking maybe i’ll get 3A but not a freaking Full Ace. Then during SPM, i just fail miserably till i cried. I was having very high expectation on myself but i drop till the deep well, damn painful. I didn’t just make every disappointed, but i make myself felt so disappointed for myself. i felt uberly useless for those few weeks going on.
Reflection on #2
i’m just like a hungry shark, crocodile or whatever shit you could think of. i can’t control my appetite, i just kept want to eat like a crazy hyena. I don’t know whether is it because of stress, or a way to relieve stress. sometimes i don’t felt like eating, but i just want to stuff my tummy till it felt like outbursting. you got see people eat till want to cry or not? if no, then the particular person typing all this words, is one of them that cry because of overdose of food supplement. So right now, to make myself not regret for gaining my fats, i’m on diet. I mean it real this time. I knew it was very hard for me but i just want to try my best.
Reflection on #3
I did alot of things in making my super sweet parent sad. Like getting into a relationship that i shouldn’t have. I know that was the most tough times my parent gone through. My mum was very sulky most of the time, and my dad smoke extra a few pack of cigarette because of that. i hate them alot during those day when they totally cut me out of the world outside, no handphone to you, no calls to make, just me and the four walls of my family. Nevertheless, i’ve past throught that era already, right now i’m more open up with them that i could just let them know what i’m thinking. you got hear before parents kept praising their daughter in front of a real good guy or not? my parent once did that, they kept promoting me to this particular dragon that i felt so shy when i meet up with him to get something. i think at that particular time i was like a tomato. thanks mommy daddy for making me turn red without even makeup powder.
Reflection on #4
this one no need to explain already. i’ll admit in the name of the lavender that i’m a spender. I buy alot of things that is useless and space consuming. i’m thinking if i was healthy in a shape kind of way, my closet will have already bundle up with tonnes of clothes, but lucky me i’m not right now. but don’t wrong the zaman kegemilangan will come real soon. 😉
Reflection on #5
i’ve done the most insane thing every, i fly 12 hours to get to Glasgow and then after having my dinner there, the next day, i had my english style breakfast and flew back to Malaysia. how wtf is that?! nope, basically it wasn’t that i want that to happen but i had some conflict with the immigration that i kick back to my sweet old malaysia. if i would have been more hardworking in getting data regarding my studies, right now i would have been studying my account at Glasgow and almost getting my cert already. *don’t wanna continue already, i felt emo* i’m still unhappy over the issue of not getting my study visa back on those days.
Reflection on #6
yah, basically i wasted 2 years of not studying. but i wouldn’t say i totally regret because at least i gain experience that not maybe working environment could give me.
Reflection on #7
every cupid shoot the wrong love arrow sometimes. My cupid tend to always shoot it at the wrong ass, thus wasting my time, feelings on particular person. sometime i just felt like kicking those suckers butt high high and away so i’ll feel more satisfied. then again, it’s also my decision that i gave in. if i would had stand more firm on my feet, i wouldn’t had be move.
Reflection on #8
This one i regret damn much. =( that was my first ever favourite watson blue doggy that i gave away. to some sucker somemore. so double the regret *god, please give me a water gun right now* i know i couldn’t get that back, and i’m so emo-ed because of that. i wish that sucker get knock down by a car and couldn’t have a proper sex life for the rest of his life. before you start cursing me why am i so evil, it was because this sucker was more fucker. till i hope that he will just be single for the rest of his life.
Reflection on #9
yah, i’m a sucker at times but in what form. i just wouldn’t know
Reflection on #10
sometimes it’s sad to be the ms.nice.girl. because people take advantage on u.
*okay, now i must go and talk to my mommy and daddy because they are online, will update a little bit soon*
Till the end, it’s past, it’s history, so i had stop whining about it, but memory will still be memory and stays in our heart